arghhhh shiat. im having mixed feelings. mad and sad at the same time.
why am i so freaking dumb! i have a super big heart but you gave non.
):
ytd an alien sent me an image with hearts filled with my name.
鸡蛋糕 it made me cried. but its so funny pls bec i cried as it reminds me of *you* i guess.
sometimes i dont even know how my heart feels anymore. no im sure it reminds me of you as i could still feel the pain inside.
what did i do to deserve these ): but im really proud of myself alr. i moved on so much. just couldnt let go only.
ok im just purely upset now but i dont care. if i dont try or do the things i feel like doing at this moment this point, i will only end up regretting yeah. so just do la even if you know the outcome wouldnt be what you expected.

ok one of my sec sch friend told me this ytd.
"Plenty of ppl undergo break up day after day. The first thing you need to realise though is that your happiness was not defined or bound in that person. Neither is your happiness in someone, your happiness is within you." its part of what he told me but this part is the most meaningful one.

so you see your happiness lies within yourself, within you. and not others ok.
yeah after 30min i should try to stop brooding over the fact that you didnt reply. i have thick skin i dont care yes. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont care!!!!! Okk end of my ranting.

My sister can be really naive yet really understanding at the age of 11 (14 more days).
She nv fails to irritate me yet brighten up my days with her words and presence.
Sometimes I think it's hilarious that a 22 (soon to be in 4 months time) year old sister is seeking advise from her 11 years younger sister.
Nonetheless I still love talking to you despite sometimes you can't really give me substantial advise.
Hehe anw I am really glad that you came into my life. Love you with all my hearts meimei.

Just some heart felt thoughts after talking to her just now haha.

I feel like sleeping but I can't cause mbp and iPhone are still charging.
My right hand is super ache so I'm trying to use just left hand to type these. But it's kinda hard so I decided to use both hands.
Its weird when I can use both left and right hand to type on my itouch but not able to do so on the iPhone. Is it because itouch is much thinner?

Anw dk if I should feel happy or what. Ever since aft sec 4 on and off there will be strangers like in e shop where im shopping or customers when im working or whatever ppl it is tt i cant rmb. They will actually randomly tell me that i have really good and nice skin. All e way until poly there's still strangers telling me that. But ever since aft I started to put on makeup like after I graduated from poly, nobody told me that anymore. But then suddenly past 2 days in a row 2 ppl actually praise me about my skin again. Such a coincidence or what. While I was working at the istana, this lady at my "braise pork belly" counter saw me and suddenly told me I have really good skin lol. I was kinda shocked like out of nowhere she suddenly told me that instead of opening the tray to see if the pork belly was delicious first anot (no doubt I was really happy, hehe cause the last time ppl praise me about this issue was when I was selling plates during poly lol).
And today acc von to do her nails. This lady sitting next to her suddenly praise about my skin again. Gawd I was truly kinda happy. But I'm scared too. Like god made you feel good about, they will make you feel bad about smth too. If god gave you too much of smth good, they will definitely remove smth from you too yeah. Like maybe smth bad will happen to me or when I grow old (maybe when im 40) my skin will alr start to sag horribly with lots I wrinkles.

finally got my iphone 4s. although i feel really happy but i felt even more double happiness when i got my mbp. hmmm. im stuck on what to say.

exams are finally over. after 3 months of hardcore projects essay test.

and cny is gonna be over soon, like tmr? yeah and jasmine and i will be working at the istana. its my first time there! is it normal cause haha like aft 22 yrs in this planet/country i haven even went to visit there once when they have special occasions or what.

ok and i think i will be flying on thurs with dad. this time round its even longer. i think previously we only went for like 4days. its a week now. cause we'd be going to guangzhou i guess. what i dread most is the weather. i cant stand cold weather, and i really dislike wearing layers of clothing. even though its only 2 or 3 pcs. that 2 sweaters that i bought from gmarket can finally be brought to use. lol. after coming back half of my holi is gone. time passes extraordinary fast.

hope i can meet up with denise, huiru and wanyun and at least go for refresher course and dam learn how to park a car before school starts.

oh man and 1 more thing is a must do. bring my black fcuk watch for repair. im so happy when i know the cover glass and e crystal can be replaced. and buy either a marc jacobs or fcuk gold watch. actually i really love e marc jacobs one cause the crystal inside is filled with different colors, looked super unique to me. one thing that i dont like is that there are lots of "marc jacobs" wording on the surface. and then e fcuk gold looks super elegant, totally adore it but the size is slightly smaller than e 1 im wearing. i really prefer big one. and marc jacobs is e size that im looking too. so you see im caught in a dilemma. if only i can buy e 2 of them.

why? im going insane soon. dk why i study uni, other ppl also study but they like still can always enjoy and still get good grades. why?

then now here im so stressed! why am i so lousy!

cannot take it alr. reading here and i think few seconds later, i forget. or the info chose to escape from my brain. trying hard to stay focus and motivate myself!

plspls hang on!!

before i got to start another round of studying. shall upload some pics of my hair.

see my lengthy hair. the before and after. hmmm i think its kinda short now alr. but i still feel like cutting it even shorter? butbut im afraid it will make my chin looks even longer.

okk and i dyed too. the hairstylist chose smth like ashy brown for me. but it turn out warmer.

and then i bleached 2 chunks of violet color. as you can see initially it was really sort of purple.

however after several washes e color drop. i alr used color conditioner ehh. now it become dull red/brown like e last row below. i dont even know what color is it. i dont like it!

what have i eaten for the past few days?!
woke up today with a extremely bad cramp. hurts so much that i cant stand straight.
luckily it got better. i wonder how can i even study with such pain. as im having exams.
and dam forensic ): idk if they will fail me anot when i wrote so short cause i really dk what to write.

alright and now after bathing and everything. the cramp is back again. goodness its so unbearable.
been so long since i had this pain. yeah and i really cannot take it alr. took a panadol, hope it can ease e pain at least for the whole of tmr cause im having psychometrics tmr. ppl who took e paper during the past semester has claim that its a tough paper.
gosh its making me so worried. alright. im so depressed. everybody is in their chinese new year festive mood, preparing for this and that. and ME? worrying here and there, studying here and there.